Measuring The Apple's Distance From The Tree

I'd rather make sense than cents, though I don't know that I often succeed at either.  Too often, my search for the words to express the sentiment that I feel deep within my spirit comes up empty.  It's just one of the many things I am bad at.  I try my best to be unpredictable too, but it seems that the only surprise I've managed to pull off so far is when I realized that I wasn't.  Still, I can't but ride on through the night, laptop desperado that I am.  Besides, writing gives me the Pinnochio effect.  (I feel like a real boy)

Organic Apples

songs ring out in my head

wrapt in memory

everything means more when you’re young

and your parents believe

time has passed me by

until even the man in the mirror

doesn’t know my name

but it’s still teaser putting me to sleep

and firecats run wild in my dreams

where i’d rather clean windows

than be a rich man

on comes the call

social justice

sounding in the distance

behind walls

i hear the screaming

left then right, left then right

a solider marching

all the time i’m left

until i make it right

no, my father’s ghosts don’t haunt me

and my mother’s sorrows don’t get me down

but i’ve both their hearts within me

and my own small thorny crown

- JB 08/04/11

Pay No Attention To The Random Thought Behind The Curtain

“Eat your oversize lollipop, and shut up.” – Munchkin Proverb

What most people don’t know about the Lollipop Guild is that they later disbanded to form the Lollipop Union and work for the good of munchkins everywhere.  The good witch didn’t like it much, as she soon had to sell her magic-bubble flying car, but it happened.  Elitists always hate equity – unless it is the kind that you add to liabilities to equal assets.  Me?  I think equity is a necessary component of justice for all.  It’s what makes America the bee’s knees.

Speaking of which - Do bee's knees get old and achy after awhile, and, if so, should that temper my use of the phrase "this is the bee's knees"?  The last thing that I want to do is have to then qualify that statement by clarifying that I am only referring to young bee's knees... because at that point it just doesn't sound cool.

Headphone Handicapped

With What Shall We Water The Wallflowers?

Every generation throws a hero up the pop-charts, and every generation finds something it dislikes about the next one.  As I approach my 29th birth anniversary, I’m beginning to cultivate the seeds of my inherent disdain for young whippersnaps everywhere.  We live in a time of iPods and online personalities, where even natural extroverts find themselves at least moderately socially incapable… because they only socialize when necessary and, even then, do so grudgingly.

People about my age and older can sustain this deficiency, because we learned interpersonal skills long ago.  We post status updates and write blogs *cough* to supplement relationships and self-expression - we don’t do it as our primary outlet.  These new wallflowers don’t have that background, and it hurts them.  They don’t just stand to the side at dances; they stand to the side of life itself, content to flower behind walls of their own construction.

Airplane Etiquette “aka Roller’s Special Request”

Pa’s Faux Pas
keep it together
now is not the time or place
farting on a plane
- JB 08/01/11

Look, I know the food on airplanes is bad, but who do you think you’re kidding?  That stench is not your mystery meat and vegetable medley.  You do realize that there are bathrooms, right, but no windows that I can crack?  This is like riding in the car with my uncle Dave, only it isn’t the window-lock button that has been pressed, and no amount of begging is going to convince the captain to make a pit-stop.  There should be a “no-smoking” equivalent on planes where one has to make a pledge not to eat beans and/or ethnic food for three days before a flight.

“Yes, I’d like a no-ass-dropping seat please.  Thanks!”

Airplanes are like mullets.  Everything is good and professional in the front, but the further back you go, the dirtier and poorer it looks.  Me?  I’ll take the party in the back, even if it means sitting next to a known ass-dropper or two.  People back there are real and have personalities.